After the surgery I was in pretty good shape other than my armpit swelling up like a peach from the lymph nodes being removed (the sentinal node biopsy) and the lymph fluid was trying to figure out where to go now that two were missing. That finally settled down after getting it aspirated (a needle stuck in and the fluid drawn out) three times and my friend Ben treating me to two massage sessions with his old teacher who specializes in lymphatic massage. Yey!
Then it was a few weeks of dealing with numbness in my upper arm and arm pit which the surgeon said will be permanent -- but in 2-3 months something strange will happen: my brain will just turn a switch and I won't really notice it anymore. I've had to avoid heavy lifting for 4-6 weeks since the surgery. Biting nails is off limits as I could cause an infection that would go up my right arm and cause problems in the lymph area. But the hardest part has been the nerve damage that was done by the sentinal node biopsy when they took the lymph nodes out. My armpit hurts and so do parts of my upper arm. And sometimes it feels like small electrical shocks are going through it. My arm gets stiff and sore. Anyway, the main thing is that my potato chip cravings have gone away and I'm not clocking in time on the couch anymore.
I went back to work a couple of weeks ago. When they told me I'd have to take at least 2-3 weeks off after surgery and then think about going back to work half-days, I thought they were nuts. But that's what pretty much worked out and I'm glad I'm starting to finally feel like I'm out of recovery and into "rehab" now. Rehab to me means slowly getting back into shape and keeping an eye on my arm. I've been going to the gym doing little baby weights and going for long walks and short bike rides. But I am really looking forward to trying a short run soon.
If you missed it in past posts, I don't have to do chemo! YEYEYEEYYYYYYY!! How great is that? I was supposed to start radiation last week but delayed it one week, till today, so that I could have an actual week of feeling like a normal person and enjoying the summer for a whole weekend.
The week before last I went to the Radiation Oncologist and we went over things one last time. Then she sent me to Imaging where they tattooed (yes permanently) four teeny blue pinpricks: one between my breasts, one about 4" lower than that, and two more, one on each side of my rib cage. Those marks act like a GPS system for the machine so they know how to line me up exactly every single time and the beams are 100% accurate in the angles they want to shoot. Then they took a CT scan of me. From that they made a 3D model of my chest and organs and where the tumor was and plan all the different angles for the beam to shoot, trying to miss other important organs and as little unnecessary tissue area as possible.
Last week I went in and we did a dry run on the radiation treatments to see if the 3D model was done correctly. It was just like getting an actual treatment except they didn't use radiation.
Today I did my first radiation treatment. Chemo and radiation are basically the same thing except chemo is taken as a liquid orally or through IV, and it hits your entire system. It's hell. Radiation is done with a beam and hits a local area. A cake walk compared to chemo.
I don't know if it was my imagination -- which was running rampant as I really thought about radiation zapping my body -- but my arms felt mildly electrified. It was freaky, and I'm not sure it wasn't my mind like I said. Today being the first one I can say that it didn't hurt, I really didn't feel anything at all actually. But it is Day One so we'll see if that changes any.
Here's the radiation machine. You're raised up on this bed with your arms over your head grabbing these handles that feel like handle bars on a kid's bike. They move your body around and line up your tattoos with these red laser crosshairs so they know you are in the exact correct position every time. You stay that way and don't move while that circular part of the machine rotates around into different positions, stops, and then zaps away.It all looks just like this except I don't have the robe closed and I'm not actually smiling after they all leave and shut a 10-foot wide steel door that is 1-foot thick. I do get to keep my pants, belt and shoes on-- so convenient!
I won't lose my hair. The area where the beams are hitting will become like a good sunburn. It can be eased with acupuncture and massaging in lotion. I'll get a little tired at the end of the day, probably going to bed a little early. Maybe in weeks 5-6 I will get a little more tired than usual since it is cumulative. The Radiation Oncologist said that your tiredness is a lot like how you feel after a really long day at the beach. If only I was going to the beach for six weeks...mmmmmm.
The appointments are short, about 20 minutes with getting there changing, going in, having them line up my tattoos, shooting the radiation, coming out, changing again. The actual beam of radiation is only on for about one minute total over a two to three minute time period.
There are 33 treatments: every day, Monday-Friday, five days a week for six and a half weeks. I can skip up to 10 appointments but then they would get tacked on to the end of the schedule. This week they are all at 4:50pm, but starting next week they will all be at 8am. One treatment down today, 32 more to go.
Lisa continues to go to appointments with me. She's going to my second treatment tomorrow but after that I should be good to go on my own. It's not because I'm tired or anything, but it's just mentally taxing going to the hospital and dealing with all this. How wonderful is she? Today she gave me a box and said. "I got this for you when I knew you'd be doing radiation. It made me think of how you'd rather be anywhere else than here." I love you, Lisa!
